30. Phoenix

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The ancient bird that immolates itself in a never ending cycle of creation and destruction is one of my favourite beasts from mythology.

I have always been fascinated by its uniqueness and symbolism.

In a sense, my life cycles just like the phoenix and I have just closed one of those cycles.

I have taken my life in a different direction and I just closed a cycle.

I have realised that in the recent months I have been directing my focus into unproductive and wasteful missions, and that I may not provide me or my family with any viable fruits of my time and labour.

And if I keep going the way I was going, I might lose my mind.

Of course that this is an unacceptable thought, but in me it grows and becomes a painful reality that forces my ego and persona into a dark and furious corner which I try to avoid at all costs. I truly dislike that part of me.

And it is through the eternal vigilance and support of Ms. Ace that I can surmount these calamities and start anew from a mound of ash. Just like the phoenix.

The last few weeks have been very, very hard for me and for her, and for Miss Spacebuns. But I think I am better now. This last week has been quite good.

And we have a new dog. That will always help.

Phoenixes and dogs get along well.

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