The middle-aged man was ruminating during the taxi ride home.
“Was it the right choice?“
It was a barely perceptible thought. A slight ripple. A vibration at molecular level.
The first few waves of madness disguised as pleasure appear. Soon and unpredictably they will be replaced by a furious mindless grey ocean in turmoil.
At that point it is already too late and all is lost.
“It cannot go that far” the man panics. A visceral and anxious pain in his gut joins up as a stark reminder of fragility.
And then a blinding light painted the desert air in a sepulchral mournful light.
Reality cannot be replaced. Consequences exist. It’s not a verse in a song by The Cure.
Failing at this point of our lives is a blow that will never be repaired.
And for once, for once in years, a beaming light shone in the man’s heart. It was beautiful.
Like.
It was warmth and purpose and love and strength. There was a smile and a nod to the heavens. Grit. Happy. Extremely happy.
Over time and life we get deceived by false realities.
-o-
Does that make me less or more of a companion?
I like this adventure -it has plenty of excitement, goals, struggles and twists and turns. We are a family and we have choices.
Choices are a luxury,
We have the choice of working and living our lives thanks to the indefatigable and super-human Ms. Ace.
We are in the cusp of finding out from Mr. Shiny what his future in Europe looks like. I am so proud of him and his choices.
We are solving school drama with Miss. Ray-of-Sunshine. It’s tough to be 13 years old. I understand her.
I can see why she is not popular – she is a leader, not a follower.
She unseats the balance of power in the schoolroom. She lives by her own rules: eating, crying, singing, bouncing.
Beaming. Growing fierce.
She does not gel with the local feminine cultural expectations of demure princesses.
-o-
We are in a good space. We truly are.
“The choice was right. In the light, the middle-aged man smiled.”